tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2890637673678810716.post5579821510486154240..comments2023-09-11T05:27:27.319-07:00Comments on NoHo Moho: 19 Months Ago... June 28th, 2007Ezrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18249055675517672157noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2890637673678810716.post-59965539092108935852009-03-06T11:15:00.000-08:002009-03-06T11:15:00.000-08:00The next thing to delve into - is why this truly m...The next thing to delve into - is why this truly makes you uncomfortable? Could it be that you have grown to accept yourself as a homosexual but know that the feelings you wrote down so many months ago ring true on some levels while at the same time seem so contradictory? I can't say much for flower essences helping you - but perhaps somewhere deep inside you feel that your desires for having a family and being "normal" - as incredibly useless as that word is nowadays - still exist - as impossible as that result may seem. That somewhere deep inside- you think change is possible.<BR/><BR/>Many of your friends think change is impossible, but this friend tends to think it is, and that without question it will be the most difficult thing you will ever do. If you shared this journal entry with me the day you wrote it I would say this then and now - you don't need God or flower essences to solve this heartache- time, a support system, exploration, most importantly growth in areas you've never given or been granted a chance to explore. <BR/><BR/>I think you've made huge strides as a person since June 2007. Your image for starters - I know it's slow go, but you've lost a lot of weight - looking better every week. In addition to losing weight, you've lost a lot of fear. You are much more open and willing to express what you feel, and way less self loathing. You stopped going to that crazy church too. That's just the tip of the ice berg. <BR/><BR/>Unfortunately, if change is ever to occur - it will take an incredible amount of determination, persistence, and an open mind. And as you know - change will happen only if you want it. And clearly this is a big duh - but this change isn't for your family, friends, or God - this change is for where you want to be in 20 years. Everyone will love you and support you just the same if you decide to get hitched with some dude. If that's what makes you happy - all the power within the state of California to you, but if you want the joy of creating another human being someday - and trust me - we need more of your type in this retarded world - I want you to know it's possible to discover the joys of a woman. <BR/><BR/>Whatever you do though - if you decided to never pursue women - if you decided to be a monk - if you decided to be alone and watch 40 hrs of alien porn a week - it really doesn't matter to me as long as you work to the full potential of who you want to be - no one else's standard - nor God's.StuckinLAhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16140622067204412039noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2890637673678810716.post-42477931051887603372009-03-05T22:32:00.000-08:002009-03-05T22:32:00.000-08:00WOW. I am SOOO amazed by this entry. I feel like...WOW. I am SOOO amazed by this entry. I feel like I could have written it. I especially connected with this... from where I stand now I think its a very poignant thought here:<BR/><BR/>"Will the pain and suffering I dredge up be effective and heal me? Or will I be a more well-adjusted homosexual?"<BR/><BR/>As I went through the near 5 years of therapy, (I also did EMDR, flower essences, even a Shamanic Soul Retrieval), I just became more and more aware that I was perfect just as I am. It is crazy now to look back at how tightly I was holding on to the concept of my own emotional illness. I did need to heal, thats for sure, but NOT of my homosexuality. Of my own ignorance, self-loathing, and the years of incorrect indoctrination YES. <BR/><BR/> I think its a beautiful completion for you to post this. Awesome.CLARK JOHNSENhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02893018646857280001noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2890637673678810716.post-57654552687363846632009-03-04T23:23:00.000-08:002009-03-04T23:23:00.000-08:00Dear Ezra,Often my old journal entries make me unc...Dear Ezra,<BR/><BR/>Often my old journal entries make me uncomfortable also. It's interesting to see how the process of history changes us, and in which ways. We generally grow into a greater acceptance of ourselves as we do of others.<BR/><BR/>Peace,<BR/><BR/>GGrégoirehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13610633478542798268noreply@blogger.com