Tonight I'm going to a screening of a film and panel discussion with Andrew, a gay christian who reads mine and Chedner's blogs and lives in Los Angeles.
Here's the blurb:
Do I Look Fat?
From the personal stories of seven gay men who have struggled, or continue to struggle, with eating disorders and body image issues, Do I Look Fat? uncovers reoccurring and interconnecting themes that support this "self-esteem disorder." Film will be followed by a discussion. Directed by Travis Matthews, 2005, 58 minutes.
I'm looking forward to making friends with a member of our "extended" family, and maybe learning some information about body image problems. Though I don't have an eating disorder, I definitely have body image issues.
Secondly, after watching a trailer for "Were The World Mine" on D.'s blog, I went to Amazon and bought the movie--or so I thought. When it arrived, I realized that I'd bought the soundtrack. The movie has not yet been released on DVD!
After an initial feeling of disappointment, I ripped the tracks and began to listen. I am still not through the whole album, because I was stopped dead in my tracks by the amazing track title track "Were The World Mine" (click to listen)
And I will sing that they shall hear, / That I am not, I am not afraid, / I am not afraid / I know not by what power I'm made bold, / But still you flout my insufficiency / The more my prayer, the lesser is my grace.
I am not afraid! I shall not fear! But I know that my boldness comes from my knowledge of my heavenly father's love, and the love of my friends and family. The church, in all it's follies, took my prayer, and made my grace lesser by taking the joy from my life and telling me that somehow I was "lesser".
Best wishes and love to all my friends everywhere. Try to remember that I'm hear for all of you if you ever want to call me or IM me.
I love your articles Ezra.
ReplyDeleteI am not afraid! I shall not fear! But I know that my boldness comes from my knowledge of my heavenly father's love, and the love of my friends and family. The church, in all it's follies, took my prayer, and made my grace lesser by taking the joy from my life and telling me that somehow I was "lesser".
When I read this I was reminded of an old quip from Angelus Silesius:
Ich bin wie Gott, und Gott wie ich. Ich bin so gross als Gott, er ist als ich so klein; Er kann nicht über mich, ich unter ihm nicht sein.
The English translation was made famous in the 1980's when Max Cady shouted it out, while getting his ass kicked by a handful of hillbillies with pipes and bike chains, in the middle of Martin Scorcese's remake of Cape Fear:
I am like God and God like me. I am as large as God. He is as small as I. He cannot -- above me, nor I beneath him -- be.
Back to the original topic, you're a really good looking dude by anyone's standards.
Thanks Greg, I appreciate it. I actually got complimented by Andrew tonight for being better looking than my photo... :)
ReplyDeleteDude I have been listening to the WTWM soundtrack nonstop since I got it. And quoted from the same song on my own blog. It's like an anthem for coming out. Gotta love Shakespeare, that genius, once again he gave us the perfect words.
ReplyDeleteI liked WTWM when I saw it at the theater. I'm sure it will be on DVD soon. I thought it was cute.
ReplyDeleteAbout the weight issue, my experience (and I've been on the chunky side my whole life) is that you have to relax about it before you can really do something about it. It takes a weird combination of self-acceptance and consistent work at the gym. Consistency of effort is much better than perfection. (This is why diets don't work.) Make sure you are physically active, eat a super healthy diet without stressing about it, get enough sleep and you will move to the weight that your body can support. It won't be rail thin because that's not your body type, but it will be you and you'll look great.
Best of luck to you!